Culture & Traditions, Lifestyle

Old Age: Perspective on Time and Aging


Some of my friends, one after another, are departing from this world. Those who remain are anxious and apprehensive: “When will it be my turn?” It is well understood that birth is followed by death, but what happens before and after still leaves many worried and concerned.

There are two common views on old age:

  1. Revered Old Age: Old people are respected because “gray hair is a sign of wisdom” (Wisdom 4:7-15). The Book of Proverbs states, “Gray hair is a crown of glory” (16:31). According to Buddhist philosophy, “A father is like Buddha. A mother is like the Goddess of Mercy.” Those who live a virtuous life and have an honorable character are respected and admired by their descendants.
  2. Old Age Without Virtue: Some may be physically old, but their thoughts and lifestyles lack maturity and virtue, leading to contempt from society and avoidance by their descendants.

Old people also have two ways of self-assessment:

  1. “Aging in body, but not in mind”: These are the optimistic, who live peacefully and fully within the time they have. They do not harbor feelings of despair, pessimism, or resentment.
  2. “Old before their time”: These are the pessimistic, disheartened, and selfish individuals. They see life as a debt to be repaid, leading to a lonely, closed-off, and dull existence, filled with negative thoughts.

Education, environment, society, and religion influence how people perceive life and their values. This diversity in perspective explains why there are many opinions and advice on how to think, behave, and live in old age. But what is old age? What does it mean to be old? And how should we live when we enter old age?

WHAT IS OLD AGE?

Old age is often considered a time close to or entering the stage of life admiration. Those at this stage are called elders, veterans, or the elderly. Old age is not simply defined by physical changes or transitions from one stage to another, although time is still considered a milestone of aging. The concept of old age discussed in this article is based on material from Wikipedia. [1]

In the Analects, Confucius argues that “At fifty, one understands the Mandate of Heaven,” meaning at age 50, a person can understand and master the laws of nature and society and grasp the trends of the times. At age 60, “At sixty, one obeys the ear,” indicating the perfect maturity in knowledge, wisdom, and life experience.

Physically, old age is a time of bodily decline, with many symptoms of diseases like high cholesterol, high blood pressure, diabetes, gout, and cardiovascular issues, requiring medical and social assistance. Notably, there are limitations in cognitive abilities due to Alzheimer’s, memory loss, and confusion, or in the capacity to interact socially, with the environment, and with life in general.

Society and History

Western thought often considers old age as ugly, a time of weakness and gloom preparing for death, even though death is seen as the liberation of a human life.

Society has mixed views on old age, seeing it as both a source of wisdom and deficiencies, experience and mistakes, strength and endurance.

In many cultures, old age is generally seen as weak, inferior, powerless, senile, lonely, and sometimes difficult. Depending on the situation, the elderly may either be respected or die in loneliness. Although skeptical of deities, Aristotle shared a similar disdain for the elderly. In his Ethics, he writes that “Old age is pitiful; the old do not recognize selfless friendship; they only seek what can satisfy their selfish needs.”

Social Psychology

According to Social Psychology, Erik Erikson in “The Stages of Psychosocial Development” suggests that human development spans eight stages from birth, continuing throughout life. He categorizes old age as the time of “Integrity vs. Despair,” where most elderly people reflect on their past.

For those whose lives have not been successful, this is a time of feeling their lives were meaningless, wasted, and filled with regret. These people live with bitterness and disappointment. Conversely, those who are proud of their achievements feel a sense of completeness. In summary, this is the stage where elders look back on their past with both regret and satisfaction. The elderly attain wisdom despite facing death, as confronting it is an essential capability in old age, allowing one to move forward in life without being “stuck” in the past. This way of facing and accepting reflects a process based on the level of psychosocial maturity.

For those in their 80s and 90s, Joan Erikson added a ninth stage in “The Life Cycle Completed: Extended Version.” According to her, the perfect state of the eighth stage involves a “harsh demand on the elderly’s sense” and the Wisdom of this stage also requires abilities that are typically not present in the ninth stage.

Newman & Newman also highlight what they call the “Elderhood” stage in the ninth stage, dividing the elderly into two groups: the “young old,” who are healthy and can live independently without needing help from others, managing their health independently. Conversely, the “old old” are those who always depend on care services due to poor health and illness.

For elderly Vietnamese overseas, according to Dr. Dương Xuân Huyên, they often live in a state of stress, feeling uncomfortable, useless, suffering from insomnia, fatigue, psychological instability, and constantly thinking about death. [2] A wise and knowledgeable priest once confided to the writer: “When I was healthy and active, people had to make appointments to meet me. But now that I’m retired, I am very happy and feel comforted whenever someone comes to visit!”

Religion

Generally, the elderly are more devout than the young. In the United States, 90% of elderly Mexicans are said to be very quiet and devout. According to research from The Pew Research Center, between Black and White people, 62% of those aged 65-74 and 70% of those 75 and older consider religion “very important.” 76% of women and 53% of men aged 65 consider religion very important, and 87% of Black people, 63% of White people also believe religion is “very important.”

Among those aged 60 and older, 25% read the Bible daily, and over 40% watch religious programs on television. Pew Research also shows that among those aged 65 and older, 75% of White people and 87% of Black people pray every day.

In practice, the elderly often participate and engage in religious groups, even though they may face difficulties with mobility or health.

Vietnam currently has over 26.5 million religious believers, accounting for 27% of the country’s population. Buddhism accounts for the largest number of both followers and places of worship, followed by Catholicism [3], but there is no research on the spiritual life of the elderly.

ISSUES OF OLD AGE

In today’s world, old age is easily dismissed. Joan Erikson observes that “the elderly are often disrespected, marginalized, and forgotten. They are seen not as wise but as embodiments of shame.” Views on healthy old age also differ across cultures. Generally, physical health and social activities are signs of good old age.

Although it’s a fact, the philosophy of aging is rarely a topic for public discussion.

Misunderstandings

When Johnson and Barer surveyed “Life beyond 85 years,” they found that 24% of those aged 85 and older did not regularly engage with family members; many outlived their family members. Furthermore, reduced activity and social interaction among those over 85 did not affect their healthy living. Finally, instead of holding onto their opinions, the elderly still showed the ability to change their perceptions and emotions, as well as modify their views of self-protection. However:

  • The elderly need at least one family member for support.
  • Old age requires socially engaging activities.
  • “Successful integration” requires the elderly to change their self-conception according to age.

Assistance

In the United States in 2008, 11 million people aged 65 and older lived alone:

  • 5 million (22%) aged 65-74.
  • 4 million (34%) aged 75-84.
  • 2 million (41%) aged 85 and older.

This leads to the need for elderly care services, such as providing tools and programs for seniors. The foundation is to help seniors perform daily living activities (ADLs) independently. Additional services include transportation, meals, professional care services, and activities at senior centers and nursing homes.

ENJOYING OLD AGE

Age 65 is the starting point for retirement in many countries. Therefore, those at this age must prepare to face immediate realities, such as leisure time after retirement, loneliness, or aging.

In an article titled Three Words, author Trầm Thiên Thu cites the following analysis by Dick Lyles: “Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny.” He concludes, “Thus, fate is made by us, not determined by Heaven.” According to him, the combination of Virtue and Talent creates fate, also known as destiny. [4]

In summary, despite physical and psychological limitations, old age is a time that, in a positive sense, is a blessing from God to each person. However, how one enjoys that blessing depends on individual thoughts and actions in each situation. Therefore, when God grants us old age, we should accept and enjoy it. From a spiritual perspective, it is also a time to prepare carefully before entering eternity. Birth, aging, sickness, and death. That is the natural law.

How to live and prepare for the day of departure is the most important task of old age. For seniors with religious faith, this is the time to draw closer to God, to find peace in spiritual needs. It is also a time to connect and live harmoniously with loved ones, friends, and grandchildren so that when we say goodbye to this world, we leave in peace:

“I have received from the Lord. Peace, joy, and love: I leave it all to you. Sing now the farewell song.” (Leave It All to You, Fr. Thiện Cẩm)

-Trần Mỹ Duyệt, PhD in Psychology-

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